I'm actually EXCITED for Halloween

I know. It's craziness. I've always HATED Halloween with a passion. I hated dressing up because I felt like an idiot. I hated wandering around the streets freezing my butt off BEGGING for candy. (I mean, let's be honest here, that's ultimately what it is) Well, I guess it's more like threatening strangers for candy because you basically tell them to give you candy or you will perform some act of violence to them or their property. (Trick-or-Treat... You think about it for a second)  

But anyway, I have deviated from the point. My point is, I am in absolute amazement that I am actually excited for it this year. But I'm pretty sure that this one picture will explain it all:

I love this little girl more than words can say, even if the last few days have been a bit of a struggle. She's been fighting a cold and the nights have been less than pleasant. But she is still a wonderful girl and I feel so blessed to have her in our home.

I'm so excited to see what she does when she knocks on the door of someone's house (yes, she's been practicing knocking LoL) and they give her candy! She has a sweet tooth like her momma and I can't wait to see her cute little face light up. She also LOVES to dress up. She's such a girly girl and I think that just being in a costume for most of the day tomorrow will put her in 7th heaven!

Creamy Ranch Dressing

 Isn't it amazing how one simple thought can set off a chain reaction of other thoughts/feelings? For some unknown reason, tonight I was thinking about creamy ranch dressing. I used to have chicken patties at my Grandma's house and dip it in creamy ranch dressing. This is what set into motion the following chain of thoughts.

It got me thinking about grandparents, which in turn got me thinking about my Grandma Bonnie. And how UNFAIR life can be. How unfair it was that she was taken from this earth at only 62 years old. How unfair it was that she left behind a family that loved her so much. How she had so much more life left to live. Which, got me thinking about death, and naturally got me thinking about JoJo.

Then I cried. And as I was thinking about death and how unfair it is, it got me thinking of my own life and how certain things make you who you are. How one event changes course of your life and how you view the world. If any of you have watched the movie 'The Butterfly Effect' you know what I am talking about. One simple conversation, one action, one tiny moment can change everything.

Sometimes I wish that I would have changed things in my life. Changed decisons that I made, friends that I had, people I wasn't as nice to as I should have been. But then I wonder how that would have affected who I am. I know that the things that I have done and the choices that I have made have made me the woman that I am today. And that's one thing that I would NOT change. I love who I am. I love where my life has taken me. Chandler and I have always said that the Rascal Flatts song 'God Blessed the Broken Road' is SO our song. Everything we did led us to where we are today.

So I guess what I am ultimately getting at is that, not matter what I've been through, no matter the mistakes that I've made, it's made me who I am. And as long as I love that person, that's all that matters.

More pictures of MY model...(yes, I own her now)

I'm pretty sure that Brinley is going to start FORBIDDING me to get anything new relating to my camera because anytime I do, guess who gets drug out on a photoshoot? (I think she secretly likes it but just pretends not to...)

So this time, I got some new photo editing software and needed some new pictures to edit. So off we were on yet another photoshooting extravaganza! We had a lot of fun. It's amazing how many people stare, like they've never seen anyone taking pictures before. But anyway, it was a great day with Mom, Breagan, myself, and of course, MY model...(like I said, I OWN her now!) Thanks guys for humoring me! I don't know what I'd do without you!

Random

I'm in love with shooting into the sun, and I saw the perfect opportunity with this. It's definitely Chan's pride and joy.

We went on the mountain to visit my mom and grandpa for the afternoon, and Breagan had a BLAST!

Summer is FINALLY coming to an end! ;)

Breagan just hanging out in her kitty cat pullover. She loves the cat ears!

Breag

So Bregan humored me for a few minutes this afternoon by letting me take some pictures of her. All in all, she was actually very good! And she was tired afterward so she layed down and took a nap!

Disclaimer: I realize that I am not a 'Photographer'. I realize that these are not the most amazing photographs that you will ever lay your eyes on. I realize that there are things that are in the way that I should have noticed but didn't. But I also realize that I love taking pictures. I realize that I enjoyed being with my family driving around this crazy little town looking for places to take pictures. I realize that I had a great day and no matter what the pictures look like, it made ME happy....

I cried...

Thursday night, I layed on the bathroom floor and sobbed. Not just cried, hysterically sobbed. The kind of sob that comes from deep down in your chest. And your soul. The kind that makes your head hurt for hours afterwards. The kind of crying that comes not just from being sad, but from hurting physically.

JoJo wasn't just 'a cat'. I know that's how it seems to the outside world looking in, but she wasn't. She had been Chandler's cat for 10 years. And mine since we started dating. She was a part of our family. And now she is gone.

Now I'll be the first to admit, she wasn't the most gorgeous cat in the world. But let's be honest, she'd had a rough start in life. She started out with grease packed in her ears, fur, pretty much anywhere she could have grease on her, she had it. Then she had an 'accident' with a car. One that could have been avoided, but I won't go into that. Then she had problems with her eyes. Not only was she not cute, but she had sick eyes all the time, one being glazed over, a nasty scar, and she would have random bouts of 'tweaking' as Chandler and I called it due to her 'accident'. They were kind of like seizures but not. Anyway, that's beyond the point. The point is that JoJo was our first child. She liked to lay with us on the couch and watch tv. She would sleep on the bottom of our bed every night. She was always there. And now she isn't.

Tuesday morning I woke up to her crying under Breagan's crib. I took her out only to discover that her back legs were not working. After 2 trips to the vet and several doses of prednison later, we decided that it was time. Time to let her go. This was no way for her to live. The nurse at Dr. Durfee's carefully wrapped her in a pullover of mine that she loved and placed her in the pet carrier. Then I took her to my dad and he dug her a grave amongst our other family pets and we layed her to rest. (Thank you dad. I know that I wouldn't have been able to do it.) And yes, it was 90 something degrees and my dad was out in the direct sun digging a hole. He's a saint.When we got back to my mom and dad's house, my mom asked me if we said any words at the 'services' and I said, "Yeah, I said 'Damn it's hot out here!' " And so the healing begun.

I have to thank everyone for the little things they did for me. Mom, Hailey, and Brinley for watching Breag while I made numerous trips to the vet. My dad for being the funeral director. And Chan for letting me sob on the bathroom floor and then coming in, giving me a hug, and saying 'This probably isn't the best place to be laying down at'. Dr. Durfee for taking such good care of her. And the sweet sweet sweet nurse there. I do not know her name, but I will find out. She was so good to me and to Jo. Thank you everyone.

We love you Jo